How to catch a CEO
by Misura
Summary: A crash-course with comments from Mokuba and the able assistance of Joey. [SetoJoey, in a weird way]
1. First step

How to catch a CEO

_a course in three easy steps by Mokuba Kaiba, with assistance from Joey Wheeler._

Warnings/notes : Seto/Joey, Mokuba, slightly weird, major oocness.

Disclaimer : I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh. 

written at 29th october 2003, by Misura

For Lethe Seraph, who requested for the pink stuff. ^^; hope you'll like it!

**********

Mokuba says :

_My brother is a total sucker for anything that's cute and helpless. Or *seems* to be cute and helpless. Like, for example, me. Now, you and I know I'm far from helpless (though everyone will agree I'm cute) but that's not how I appear to be._

_Make your eyes go wobbly when he's looking at you, pretend you're lost and deperate to the point of giving up all hope of a happy life. He's sure to take pity on you, if you do it right._

_Keep in mind though that timing's important. Don't try this kind of things when he's busy, with either me or work. You're bound to fail._

****

the first step : Getting him to notice you

****

_the wrong way_

It was a warm and lovely summerday. Joey whistled as he was walking to school, for once not late. That he had also made his homework for the coming two weeks this past weekend added to his good mood as well.

When he walked into the class-room, he noticed Seto Kaiba, busily typing away at his laptop. Dumping his bag on the floor, Joey walked over to the CEO, curiously peeking over his shoulder to what was so important it couldn't wait till after school.

To his surprise, Kaiba was playing some sort of game, which captured his attention so much he didn't notice the blond behind him until Joey began to laugh. He couldn't help it, really, it was simply so weird, seeing the so serious CEO utterly focused on blasting zombies into oblivion.

"What's so funny, mutt?" Kaiba snarled, quickly changing the screen so it showed a business-document.

Joey was laughing too hard to be able to reply.

****

Mokuba comments :

_Now, what did Joey do right in this example? Not much. He was flaunting his own happiness and on top of this ridiculed my brother's attempt at some 'normal' teenager activity, thus scaring him from ever daring to come out of his shell._

_Bad puppy!_

****

_the right way_

The rain formed a curtain of water, making it impossible for anyone to be outdoors for more than a few seconds without getting completely soaked. Joey was wet to the bone and, frankly, beyond caring. He was also late for school again, the third time this week which meant he'd probably get detention.

His shoes made soppy sounds as he walked into the class, not even bothering to knock or apologize for his lateness. What was the use? The teacher was going to punish him anyway. As he sat down, Yugi threw him a worried look which he answered with a smile that was much more cheerful than he really felt and grabbed what he hoped to be the right books for this hour.

The water dripped out of his messy bangs onto the pages of the book, making the paper curl up. After a while, he simply gave up pretending to pay attention and closed his book before he could do any more damage. 

The rest of the day passed in a daze, while his wet clothes chilled his body to a point where he could hardly keep from shivering all the time. He was relieved as the final bell rang.

Hurrying to his locker, he didn't notice someone was following him. Someone who had been watching the blond all day long, waiting for a chance to get him alone.

"Puppy ... " Joey froze, knowing only one person would call him that. Still, though the voice seemed to be familiar the tone wasn't. For once, Kaiba didn't sound sneering and taunting. Instead he almost sounded ... concerned? Impossible.

"What do you want?" He wheeled around, shaking off Kaiba's hand that had somehow been placed on his shoulder. "I'm not in the mood for an argument right now, Kaiba." He tried to glare but the shaking of his hands slightly ruined the effect. It was hard to look tough and mean when you were shivering from the cold.

"Good." Was that a faint smile he was seeing on Kaiba's lips? "Neither am I." Kaiba casually took off his trenchcoat, handing it to Joey. "Put this on and come with me."

"What?" Joey instinctively grasped the warm and dry coat, too cold to care who had given it to him. "I'm not going *anywhere* with you!"

Kaiba sighed. "I'm only going to bring you home, mutt. Nothing more, nothing less. I promise." His eyes dared Joey to doubt his words.

Joey gnawed on his lower lip, considering his options. He didn't really feel like walking home and getting all soaked again, really, and Kaiba had no reason not to do as he promised, had he? Besides, people would see Joey getting in his car. There'd be questions asked if he wouldn't show up at school tomorrow. He might as well accept this unexpected generosity.

"All right then. But no tricks." he warned.

Kaiba rolled his eyes, probably wondering why he'd even bothered to offer Joey a ride. If truth be told, Joey was rather curious as well. Not that he was going to ask. "No tricks." he agreed solemnly, with a hint of amusement in his voice.

*****

Neither of them spoke as the buildings slowly glided past. Kaiba kept his eyes on the road, while Joey sat curled up in his seat, still shivering in spite of Kaiba's trenchcoat that still hung around his shoulders and the heating being turned on. From time to time Kaiba glanced at him, an unreadable expression in his blue eyes.

"We're there." Kaiba spoke, breaking the silence as he stopped the car. Joey blinked, staring at the unfamiliar surroundings that were definitely not his street.

"What ... where are we? I thought you said you'd bring me home." Joey sputtered, getting out of the car nonetheless, reluctantly leaving his warm and cozy seat.

"I did." Kaiba shrugged.

"No, you didn't." Joey protested. "This isn't my house! I don't even recognize this part of town!"

"I never said I'd take you to *your* home." Kaiba pointed out. "Now, come along so we can get you into some dry clothes. Unless you'd rather catch a cold?"

Joey sighed and followed Kaiba, reasoning he might as well play along in whatever crazy game Kaiba was playing with him. Alone, he'd never be able to make it home anyway. Perhaps Kaiba would take him home when he got bored with the blond, or at least provide him with some directions.

~tbc~


	2. Second step

How to catch a CEO

_a course in three easy steps by Mokuba Kaiba, with assistance from Joey Wheeler._

Warnings/notes : Seto/Joey, Mokuba, slightly weird.

Disclaimer : I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh. 

written at 4th november 2003, by Misura

Thanks to the people who reviewed the first 'step' :

To Tokichan : Thanks, I did my best! :)

To Kaira-chan : ^_^ Glad to hear you liked it, especially the way I wrote Mokuba. :)

To ColeyCarissa : Thanks.

To Todokanunegai : Thank you, hope you'll like this chapter as well! :)

To Xiaolang's Ying Fa : A kiss-kiss plushie! *chibifies* Gimme, pwease? ^^; Glad you liked it! ^_^

To not the usual baka : Thanks.

To SeilinKenga : Thank you very much! Glad to hear you like Mokuba's words of wisdom! :)

To hieiandkuramalover : Well, maybe the sun gave him a stroke or something. ^^; Thank you!

To shadow-demon18b : Thank you, I did my best. :)

To Mavelus : Thank you very much! :)

To Lulu : You spoke the magical word so ... hope you'll like it! :)

To Temptress Nagisa : Hmm, maybe Mokuba represents a hidden hint of the makers of YuGiOh that they *secretly* see Joey and Seto as a couple too? ^^; *coughs* Uhm, forget I said that, please. Thank you! :)

To Lethe Seraph : Very glad to hear you enjoyed it! ^_^

To Star Light Shadow : Well, here's step 2, hope you'll like it. Thank you! :)

To Kiawna : *smirks* Maybe he has good reason to be. Hehehe. ^^; Thank you! :)

To DarkShadowFlame : *blushes and beams* Thank you very much! About the 'damsel'-thing, no, it's not just you. I guess Seto just likes to see the one that's always barking at him reduced to a cute, helpless puppy that he can take care of. ^_^; Or something like that.

To BluBre3zeDr4g0nWing : Hmm, you might try promising him God-cards. Or simply enlist some aid from other characters. ^^; Anyway, glad you also still like Seto/Joey! ^_^

To Romennar : They are, aren't they? ^_^ Glad to hear you think so too.

To Molly-chan the anime/game fan : Yup, it's meant to be silly. Glad you like it that way! ^_^

*

For Lethe Seraph, who requested for the pink stuff. ^^; hope you'll like it!

**********

Mokuba says :

_All right, so you got him to take you home with him. That's a good start though obviously you're going to need to do a little more to convince him not to kick you out again the next day._

_Settle in, show him his house would be an empty and desolate place without you in it to enliven the scenery. Make sure to do this in such a way he won't notice it until it's too late. Be subtle and keep from overdoing it. Don't, under any circumstances, remark on the way he decorated his living-room or, if you're lucky enough to end up there the first night, his bed-room._

_Don't laugh at his Blue Eyes White Dragon posters. Ignore them, if you can't bring yourself to gape at them in awe and admiration for this most magnificent of Duel Monsters._

****

the second step : Getting him to accept your presence

****

_the wrong way_

After having provided Joey with the doggy costume Otogi had given him, Seto claimed to have some work left to do and left Joey alone in the living-room, with strict instructions not to touch anything but the remote to the TV.

Joey settled in a comfortable chair with some hot chocolate Seto had made. Soon his attention was utterly captured by the antics of a certain cartoon bunny that kept on escaping the traps its enemies had lain for it. 

It was very funny and he laughed loudly at the silly expression on the villain's face when he got caught in his own trap. During the commercial break, Joey let his eyes wander around the room, noticing how stiff and formal everything looked. 

He guessed Kaiba didn't have people over very often. Otherwise, someone would have told him having a portrait of your little brother on the wall next to your favorite Duel Monster showed very bad taste.

****

Mokuba comments :

_What did Joey do right? Again, not much. Quite aside from the bad taste he exhibited by enjoying such a childish show as Funny Bunny, he also judged the way the living-room was decorated by his own, limited standards, rather than accepting them as belonging to his host._

_Instead of trying to understand my big brother, Joey's thinking of ways to 'improve' him, to make him more like Joey wants him to be. This is a very wrong way of thinking._

_Joey's biggest mistake of course is in not recognizing the importance of those two portraits on the wall, dismissing them as 'shows of bad taste', rather than tokens of the great affection and respect paid to these two._

****

_the right way_

Curled up in a comfortable chair in Kaiba's living-room ... not a position Joey had expected to find himself in this morning. Though he definitely wasn't going to complain. Kaiba had even made some hot chocolate for the two of them. Well, actually he'd made enough for three, since Mokuba might want some too when he got home.

"I ... shouldn't be sitting here, wasting my time." Kaiba remarked. "I've lots of things I need to do."

Oddly enough, the CEO hadn't risen from his own seat, had, in fact, not even moved. Joey wondered why he was pleased with that. It was almost as if he was *enjoying* Kaiba's company, wanted this moment of them being together, without arguing or fighting, to last.

"Everyone needs a break every now and then." he suggested cautiously, offering a tentative smile. He hoped fervently Kaiba wouldn't disagree with him, feeling obliged to leave now if only for the principle of it. But, really, *someone* had to tell Kaiba being a workaholic wasn't a good thing.

"Hm." Kaiba looked a little pensive, sipping his hot chocolate. Joey'd be willing to bet it wasn't *his* words that were on Kaiba's mind, though he had no idea what *was* causing the normally somewhat less than sociable CEO to be this agreeable.

"Something bothering you?" Joey inquired, regretting the words as soon as they had left his mouth. But if there was one thing he disliked more than being taunted by Kaiba, it was being ignored by him. Which was, he supposed, not pleading for his health of mind, but ah well.

"It's more of a 'someone' at the moment." Kaiba replied, with an expression that lingered between amusement and wryness. Joey blinked, taking a moment to realize Kaiba was meaning *him*.

"You brought me here yourself! I didn't even want to come!" he protested sharply, slightly blushing at that last statement, which was only partially true.

"So I did." Kaiba admitted sourly. "And I don't have a clue why." he added barely loud enough for Joey to catch. "It's not like I'd care if you'd catch a cold. Besides, dogs don't melt from a little rain." Kaiba's sneer seemed just a hint uncertain, as if he wasn't sure if he really wanted to.

"Nice to know I'm loved." Joey joked. There was a flash of startlement in blue eyes, quickly hidden. "But really, I'm grateful. Thank you. I don't think I ever said that to you before." He chuckled. Kaiba didn't look like he found anything funny about it.

"I guess the custom is for me to say you're welcome, but it wouldn't be correct. I wish I'd never ever seen you." Kaiba's voice was cold as ice now. Joey blinked, taken aback by this sudden display of hostility. He had no idea which of his words had brought it on, *if* any of them had. Perhaps all that stress was simply getting to Kaiba.

"Well, too bad." Joey shrugged, finding a certain satisfaction in being the calm one for once. "And the sentiment's mutual, by the way." This earned him another glare from Kaiba. Rather unfair, if you thought about it, since he had only thrown Kaiba's own insults back in his face.

"You're enjoying this aren't you?" Kaiba hissed. "Sitting there, *tempting* me, just to remind me of what I'll never have." Joey felt his jaw drop. Of all the things he'd expected to hear, this was the last one.

"What are you talking about?" he whispered, even though he had a pretty good idea. Only he had no idea how to reply to *that* kind of thing. Sure, Joey had had the occasional less-than-unpleasant dream about Kaiba, but that didn't mean he believed there was any possibility of those dreams becoming a reality.

"Joey Wheeler, I utterly, completely loathe you." Kaiba declared, somehow having crossed the short distance between them. Joey opened his mouth to react, but found his lips sealed with Kaiba's, blue eyes gazing into his with an unreadable emotion reflected in them. And then he closed them, not minding the way Kaiba's hands pinned his own down at his sides as he tried to reach out.

~tbc~


	3. Third step

How to catch a CEO

_a course in three easy steps by Mokuba Kaiba, with assistance from Joey Wheeler._

Warnings/notes : Seto/Joey, Mokuba, slightly weird.

Disclaimer : I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh. 

written at 7th november 2003, by Misura

Thanks to the people who reviewed the second chapter :

To Todokanunegai : ^_^; Glad to hear you like it! :)

To Kaira-chan : Thank you very much! (Sorry for making it hard for you to read in class ^^;). ^_^

To DarkShadowFlame : *blushes and beams* Thank you very much! Actually, this chapter skips a few scenes between the kiss and the morning after. ^^; Sorry.

Joey : Hey! I ain't no dog! _

Mokuba : *bows* Thank you! It's always nice to hear my opinion of myself confirmed. ~.^

To Sailor Fantasy : Thank you, I did my best. :)

To overlyobsesedwithyugi : I'll do my best.

To Romennar : Hope you'll like this chapter! :)

To BluBre3zeDr4g0nWing : You think I'm not dedicated enough? ;_; No, I don't have a mm.org-account, since I already have a ff.net one. ^^; I'm not gravely opposed to Seto/Yami. I simply don't write it (same with R-rated fics, though I also don't *read* those). Thank you! :)

To Star Light Shadow : Thanks for the Pocky! Hope you'll enjoy this last step! :)

To Xiaolang's Ying Fa : Thank you for the plushie! ^_^

Joey : Uhm, you can't rape the willing, ya know.

Seto : *smirks* Or the eager ...

To Temptress Nagisa : ^_^; Seto is quite protective, ne? Anyway, thank you very much! :)

To Kakarika Seiya (and Yaten) : Glad to hear you enjoyed it! :)

Seto : How is me jumping him to kiss him 'being in denial'?!?

To Mavelus : Oooh, I like that mental image. 'Joey the CEO-hunter'! *sounds of little gears beginning to turn in her head*

Seto : o.O;;; Uhm, help? 

To Fire Dragon of Darkness : I like fluff and cute stuff, really. Or maybe I just suck at keeping up Angst ... ^^; Anyway, glad to hear you liked it! :)

To hieiandkuramalover : Awww, isn't Kurama cute enough as he is? Thank you.

Mokuba : Sorry, only Helpless And Innocent-bishies get to have lessons. ^_^; 

To Molly-chan the Anime/Game fan : *beams* Thank you very much! :)

To Kiawna : ^^; Glad to hear you enjoyed that part! ^_^

*

For Lethe Seraph, who requested for the pink stuff. ^^; hope you'll like it!

**********

Mokuba says :

_Love is a wonderful thing. Make sure to bring to his attention that there's no one else who can make him feel like you do, because you're his True Love. Do this in such a way that he will not feel trapped, pinned down or no longer in control of the situation._

_It's best to assure him you're his loyal and obedient slave first, so he won't feel threatened by the concept of caring about you. Calling yourself his 'puppy' will be a great boost to his self-confidence. You may not feel happy with him considering you his 'pet' but remember that patience is a virtue._

_In time, you will rise from 'pet' to 'lover', if you just take it slow. Don't be too eager, except when it comes to activities like snuggling, kissing and [censored]. This will seem endearing to him._

_Last but not least, be nice to his little brother. He'll never love you as much as his younger sibling, of course, so it's best to accept this fact and turn it to your advantage. Preferrably with computer-games, though candy and cookies are acceptable too as tokens of affection._

****

the third step : Letting him know you're The One for him

****

_the wrong way_

Seto opened his eyes enough to make out the alarm-clock and hit the 'Snooze'-button, before closing them again, snuggling up to ... to ... Groaning he reached out for the person whom he was positive to have fallen asleep next to the previous night, but his hands only met cold mattress.

"Joey?" he raised his voice not caring if it might wake his ... puppy up. No one answered. As his alarm began to blare again, he punched the 'Off'-button, deciding he might as well go looking for Joey since he wouldn't be able to fall asleep not knowing where the blond had gone.

As he looked around in his closet for suitable clothing, he was somewhat surprised to find it all empty. An examination of the drawers, usually containing his socks, yielded the same result. Puzzled, he picked up his discarded pajamas of last night which were still lying crumpled in a corner and went to look downstairs.

"Mokuba?" There was someone in the living-room ; he could hear an odd sound coming from that direction. The scratching (?) halted for a moment, before it resumed. Firmly telling himself he was too old and smart to believe in horror-movies anymore, Seto pushed open the door.

And shrieked, because in the end, horror-movies only went that far. None of them came even close to the nightmare currently in front of his eyes. The sacred portraits of Mokuba and his loyal three Blue Eyes White Dragons were torn down from their place, while a certain soon-to-be-dead blond was in the process of papering the walls. With Funny Bunny-wallpaper.

"Oh, hi Seto!" Joey grinned. "Sorry I haven't gotten you any new clothing yet, but the shops were still closed when I checked." Seto slowly counted to ten. In the period he needed for this, his mind provided him with about a hundred methods to kill Joey slowly and painfully. (Hey, he may be in pajamas, but he's still a genius!)

"What. Are. You. Doing?" Seto inquired through clenched teeth. Joey seemed surprised by the question.

"Redecorating, of course! This place looked so dreary! And trenchcoats just aren't your thing!" Joey shook his head.

He should have known, Seto reflected bitterly. He should have known someone who thought 'puppy' was a cute nickname and declared himself in love with his tormentor for the past few years couldn't be quite sane. Pressing the button on his cell-phone that would call Security, he took a last look at Joey, who was happily humming a song, completely unaware of what fate was about to befall him.

"Could you tell me just one last thing?" Seto asked, fighting to put his cold mask back on before the guards would come. That they'd see him in pajamas with little Blue Eyes on it (a Christmas-gift from Mokuba) was bad enough ; it absolutely wouldn't do for them to see him upset.

"Sure." Joey nodded.

"Why are you wearing ... pink?" It looked terrible, but Seto didn't add that. 

"Oh, that." Joey had actually borrowed some old clothes from his sister, since he didn't have any he wouldn't mind losing to paint-spots. Shizuka had stuff like that aplenty, since she'd gotten over the period in which she liked pink, frilly things years ago. "Well, you know what they say about love making you see everything through pink glasses. I thought I'd give you a little help."

****

Mokuba comments :

_What did Joey do right? Only one thing actually. He was utterly out of character, displaying an intelligence far below even his usual one. Worse, he took the initiative to change things about Seto's house and wardrobe, without even asking permission or consulting the invisibly present younger sibling who might have bended his plans in the right direction._

_Further he tore the portraits off the wall, thus traumatizing Seto in such a way that he'll probably never dare to let anyone in his house -or bed- ever again. What started with the relatively small offense of not being there when Seto woke up, turned out a total disaster._

_The one thing he did right was getting Seto's pajamas off the night before without damaging them. That may rightfully be called a miracle._

****

_the right way_

Joey woke to the smell of freshly-made coffee and the weight of someone settling on the bed next to him. Cracking open one eye he saw Seto staring down on him, an odd expression on his face. The moment he noticed Joey wasn't asleep anymore it disappeared, to be replaced by Seto's usual mask.

"Time to get up." Seto informed him, holding out a steaming mug. Joey accepted it eagerly, gulping down the coffee. Normally he'd have preferred to remain lying in bed for a few more hours, considering it was the weekend and only 8:30 in the morning, but without Seto in it, Seto's bed would feel kind of cold and empty.

"Good morning to you too." Joey hadn't meant to sound quite so ... snappy. Really. Only it was so early and the caffeine hadn't quite reached his head yet.

"Mokuba's having breakfast in the kitchen. He probably wouldn't mind sharing." Seto showed no sign of being bothered by Joey's morning temper. Somehow it didn't make Joey feel any better.

"Now, there's quite a lot of work waiting for me in my office so if you'll excuse me ... " Of course, Seto wasn't really asking for his permission, Joey knew. He was simply being 'polite'. Like nothing had happened.

"No." Putting down the empty mug he grabbed Seto's wrist as the CEO reached out to retrieve it. Seto blinked.

"What do you mean?" Blue eyes narrowed, questioning, but Seto made no attempt to break Joey's hold on him.

"No, I'm not going to let you leave me." Joey blurted out, blushing at how melodramatic that sounded. Seto made no immediate reply, seemingly waiting for Joey to continue. "I want you to stay here with me and enjoy your Saturday morning like normal people do."

Seto raised one eybrow, sitting down on the bed. "I am not like normal people." he pointed out. Joey wanted to yell with frustration. No, wait, he'd much rather yell at something else. Now, if only he could get Seto's cooperation to accomplish that ...

"True. You're way more annoying." Joey joked, working himself out from under the warm covers. The room seemed cold, but draping himself over Seto helped a little. And the look in Seto's eyes was definitely worth a bit of discomfort. "And I love you." He couldn't remember if he'd said that the night before, but it was different like this anyway.

Seto's body stiffened, blue eyes widening in startlement. His mouth opened and shut again, without any sound coming out. Joey fought down an urge to giggle, reaching up for a soft kiss.

"Maybe I don't completely hate you all the time." Seto murmured when they broke apart.

Joey rolled his eyes. "That's nice to hear. Now, how about you get rid of those clothes and stay here to wake me up properly?"

Seto sighed. "I suppose I could."

"It's quite a sacrifice I'm asking of you, I know." Joey added with a grin.

"Yes, you are a very demanding puppy." Seto agreed solemnly.

"Of course, you'd be much rather working on - "

"Oh, shut up already." 

Downstairs, Mokuba started smiling and treated himself to another pancake, knowing they'd only go cold if he'd leave them for Joey.

~OWARI~


End file.
